Chapter Twenty-Five: The Egg and the Eye
- I know it’s weird—I want you to know I’m aware—but this whole chapter makes me so curious about Hogwarts bathing habits. This is the first we hear of Hogwarts bathing in four years of school—I don’t want to read about anyone having baths, I just want to know what usual bathrooms are like, and if they’re all so apparently shared, and if they all have glorious bubble baths, and how that wasn’t a novelty before, and… A million other things.
- Unless it turns out to be like the great Vanishing poo debacle, in which case, better not bring it up at all.
- I get that Harry needs Myrtle to understand the egg, but it’s still creepy as all hell that she’s just watching students bathe.
- I am a great supporter of the idea that no one noticed Peter Pettigrew on the Marauder’s Map because why would Fred and George/Harry look up Ron on the map and see Peter with him? But that Harry spots Barty Crouch Jnr’s name on it, as he sneaks around Snape’s supplies for Polyjuice ingredients, really makes it a hard idea to support.
- Here’s a very complicated thing that’s not lost on me: fake Moody is ultimately plotting Harry’s death, but he’s still the first one to call Snape out for being a dickhead and being so out to get Harry.
- Fake Moody really did do a lot of good things while plotting the really awful one, and I honestly don’t know how to feel about it.
- Hate that he got his grotty hands on the Marauder’s Map, though. That is too pure for the likes of you. Gnarly hands off.
Chapter Twenty-Six: The Second Task
- I honestly don’t blame Hermione for moaning at Harry, on discovering he’d lied about being close to working out the clue to the egg. I know it’s unhelpful, know-it-all behaviour, but I just don’t blame her.
- Haven’t we just discussed how people (*cough Snape cough*) should be held accountable for their BS?
- ‘“Who on earth wants to make their nose hair grow into ringlets?” “I wouldn’t mind,” said Fred Weasley’s voice. “Be a talking point, wouldn’t it?”’ Yes, Fred, it would; as evidenced by how I still also really want to know who else would.
- Giving him Gillyweed before the Second Task might be the first time Dobby saves Harry’s bacon without actually causing him any harm.
- I hate large bodies of water, have a borderline repulsion for most sea creatures, and cannot swim, so this whole task is my worst nightmare.
- It even ruins mermaids.
- And it makes Fleur look like an idiot.
- Though it does, at least, show her as a graceful loser, which isn’t something everyone can say.
- (Malfoy, Snape, Lockhart, and unfortunately, even Hermione; looking at you.)
- Also it’s the task that gets Dobby a whole bunch of socks—which makes the whole thing worth it.
Chapter Twenty-Seven: Padfoot Returns
- When I tell you I get giddy waves of excitement from just the chapter title–Sirius is coming home!!!
- And then it starts with an abusive Skeeter article about Hermione. What a way to bring the mood crashing down.
- Most obvious clue yet about future Romione endgame: Ron’s quick to check, after Rita’s snide suggestion, that Hermione is not in fact using Love Potions to snare male attention. No, Ron, she’s just naturally awesome, and you are not mature enough to fully understand why you appreciate it yet.
- And of COURSE Snape takes full advantage of the article, reading it aloud in class to humiliate Harry further, before threatening Harry with Veritaserum–because in a school full of students (and, evidently, teachers) up to no good, Harry’s the only one who might be stealing from Snape’s Potions supplies.
- I hate him, he’s an unprofessional petty dickhead, and he should have been sacked four years ago at least. That’s all.
- Thank God Sirius is popping up to cheer up the mood.
- Sirius has been living off rats to stay close to Harry, and still manages to grin about it, because he thinks Harry’s worth it, even though none of the many people who knew he was staying in the Hogsmeade caves (including Dumbledore, who I think actually advised it?) cared to send food packages. He writes the whole thing off as ‘fulfilling [his] duty as godfather’, because he adores Harry, and he’s faithful to promises he made to James thirteen years after James’s death, and Sirius is a damn hero and I won’t hear another word about it.
- Also, every single conversation with him is fascinating. He’s intuitive enough to be interested that Crouch Snr sacked Winky–and to point out how intuitive Hermione is, having ‘the measure’ of Crouch, because ‘“If you want to know what a man’s like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals”’. INFINITE WISDOM.
- And he’s not too tightly-wound to give the Golden Trio an insight into life in Voldemort’s first reign—even though it’s haunting af.
- Also, he suspects Snape. And I know he’s got his bias, but I still think that’s real damn wise.
- Also also, I’d like to take this moment to point out how bad living in Grimmauld Place dilapidates his mental health: here, with his relative freedom, grim as it is, he makes Harry promise not to sneak out to see him, for Harry’s own safety; later, trapped inside the place of his childhood trauma, he suggests sneaking into Hogsmeade to see Harry. If that isn’t proof that his risky side comes out because he’s deeply unhappy, I don’t know what is.