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Thoughts on Quidditch Through the Ages by J.K. Rowling

Continuing sharing my thoughts on the Harry Potter books with Quidditch Through the Ages!
[My copy is from the 2001 release, for Comic Relief]

  1. The ‘praise for the book’ page at the very beginning gives me all sorts of Potterhead feels. Gilderoy Lockhart is ignorant enough to think Kennilworthy Whisp ‘shows promise’! Ludo Bagman wants to bet on the success of the book! Rita Skeeter’s praise is the bare limits of not being an insult! You have an Easter egg! You have an Easter egg! Everyone gets an Easter egg!
  2. Of course Dumbledore writes the foreword.
  3. Is that what he was doing, instead of stopping Hogwarts being a deathtrap? Writing book forewords all day?
  4. He also name drops Hogwarts Librarian, Madam Pince, to make sure the reader takes care of the book. Well, Madam Pince, rest assured. I’ve had this book since 2001 and there’s not a tear or scratch to be seen. *humblebrag*
  5. I know Cushioning Charms exist, but I still can’t see how riding a broom can be comfortable. I’ll take a trike-broom like Mad-Eye Moody, thanks.
  6. I love that there’s an annual broom race through Sweden. Like Muggle marathons, but fun. (And of course there are dragons. It wouldn’t be wizarding without danger.)
  7. (On that line of thinking, all these pre-Quidditch games make a lot of sense. Who wouldn’t want to fly around catching rocks in a cauldron strapped to your head? Average wizarding Tuesday in a world that’s fine with sending children to take care of murderers. (Looking at you, Albus Dumbledore.)
  8. We’re introduced to the ‘rude beginnings’ of Quidditch through the diaries of observer Gertie Keddle, who is all sorts of legendary, and hexed a man for chucking a Quaffle into her cabbages: ‘I’d like to see him fly with his knees on back to front, the great hairy hog’. That’s big get off my lawn energy right there. Justice for Gertie Keddle.
  9. Another unchampioned Quidditch legend: Modesty Rabnott, who stole the endangered bird Quidditch players used before someone was clever enough to just make the Golden Snitch. Four for you, Modesty Rabnott! You go, Modesty Rabnott!
  10. It never occurred to me that Bludgers were made of iron. Quidditch should not be played in schools, should it?
  11. If I played Quidditch, though, I’d for sure like to be a Beater.
  12. I ran my finger down Whisp’s list of fouls, and just about every one of them was done to Harry.
  13. I hope Madam Pomfrey is paid well.
  14. Somewhere in the Ministry of Magic, Department of Magical Games and Sports, there’s a list of rules for forming Quidditch teams. One of those rules is ‘Thou must name thy team with alliteration’. I like to think it was decided on by someone who’d had too much Firewhiskey and held a grudge on the behalf of Modesty Rabnott and Gertie Keddle—and that’s a fanfic I’d like to read.
  15. The alliterative team names start to beg belief when we get to ‘Quiberon Quafflepunchers’ and ‘Moose Jaw Meteorites’.
  16. There’s something about this book pre-dating the Firebolt that makes my heart twinge. Brings up all sorts of imaginings of Sirius, hiding out in the forest as Snuffles, finally getting to pick out a present for his godson, from a catalogue stolen by a cat. Sirius Black is one of the best Potter characters, and I will die on that hill.
  17. Bit unfair on everyone else, though, now that I think about it. Some of the Hogwarts players are riding Shooting Stars (‘the cheapest racing broom to date’, made by a company who went bust before Harry was even born), and Harry’s riding the absolute elite.
  18. Sort of like Dumbledore sweeping in and granting Gryffindor enough points to steal the House Cup from under Slytherin’s nose, when the Slytherin decorations have already gone up.
  19. But you know what? Harry grew up without anyone to buy him a racing broom, cheap or not—and even the broke Weasleys managed that for all of their kids. Also, Harry was eleven years old when he bust through a bunch of enchantments and held off the most evil wizard of all time, while the rest of his classmates ate Sugar Quills on the Hogwarts lawns after completing their exams. Harry had to get a win SOMEWHERE.
  20. Also he was fouled so many times, I’m not sure his top-of-the-market brooms were that much of an advantage, so…
  21. Some of the celebrated Quidditch moves sound dangerous enough to be classed as fouls. Wizards.

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